The Holidays Are
Here!
Take a holiday from expectations
If you’re like me, (I’m
never as unique as I like to think I am), the detail that
Thanksgiving is next week came as a shock. I could, I suppose, blame
this year’s astonishment on the fact that I no longer have a TV.
But the truth is every year the holidays sneak up on me. I’d like
to think it’s because I live in the moment, but my hunch is denial
is closer to the truth.
Getting through the holidays
is always a hot topic at meetings and over coffee this time of year.
It's true, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Kwanzaa, Christmas and New Years
Eve tend to be emotionally loaded events.
They are loaded because of
our memories and our expectations. If we had great celebrations as
kids we tend to yearn for that kind of experience again; if our past
experiences were anything but great, we tend to get stuck in
expecting disaster again. It's as if everything conspires to keep us
away from the present moment - the holy instant - and throws us into
our pasts and our hopes.
Holiday Guidelines
There are, however, a few
guidelines than can help us all make the most of this season:
This year's holidays won't
be like it was last years... or like those from our childhood. Each
day is different, new and fresh and we can bring whatever attitude
we choose to it, even if it's a traditional family gathering.
You are not the same as you
were last year or when you were 5 years old. And, truth be told,
your family isn't the same either.
You can't buy love, nor can
you measure it by the gifts you receive, or don't receive. It's so
tempting to over-spend this time of year, but if you avoid it,
you'll save yourself real agony in the New Year.
You don't have to do it
'their' way, or the way it's always done. One of the joys of
recovery is we have been returned to choice and we can make the
choices that serve us best.
You can, if you choose, enjoy the holidays,
no matter how you celebrate them or with whom. It truly is up to you
to decide what to do, how to give and how to receive.
Mini-Inventory
If you find you’re not looking forward to
the holidays, try a mini-inventory. Write down what happened last
year you didn’t like. Now with great honesty and no guilt, look at
that situation and ask yourself what part you played in the event.
It may take some serious self-discipline to see your roll, but that’s
where you need to focus. Remember, you’re the only one you can
change.
Next, ask yourself what you’d like to be
different this year. Spell it out in great detail. Then focus on
what you might do to make it the way you want it this year. Let your
mind soar to as many possibilities as you can think of in 10 or 15
minutes. It helps if you write them all down.
Take a break for an hour or a day and don’t
be surprised if some additional ideas occur to you. Write them down
too.
Now you have a whole collection of options.
Obviously, some are better than others. Pick the one or two that
please you the most and go for it.
Love, peace and
abundance,
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