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Of Lemons and Lemonade

 Real Listening and the Kindness of Friends and Strangers 

My phone has been dead for about 5 days. My line went out, along with some 25 others here in the marina where we live on our boats. For me and a girlfriend to be without a phone means we're out of business. Kathe (yep, that's how she spells it) and I both earn our living, or much of it, on the 'net. So frustration has been running high.

I got lucky; Taylor, who has a boat 3 or 4 slips down lent me his line. Mike, another neighbor, helped me string phone wire down the dock so I've had partial communications, until this morning when Taylor's line died too.
Naturally, I'm in the middle of a big project for my part time grant writing job for the San Diego Repertory Theatre. My job share partner and I had grown to count on email as well as phone as we both work from our respective homes. But she's on land and when something goes wrong with the phone line, the phone company fixes it.

Lemons arrive

This morning, Taylor's line went out about 7:30. I was, of course, 30 or 40 minutes from emailing the final draft of the project.

The goat dance began. I rushed through a shower, transferred 6 files to disk and drove to the office at the REP where I hoped to find Barbara to fill in the last few numbers and email the whole mess to my job partner from there. Barb wasn't in yet, so I barrowed Jenna's computer and set about emailing; all went well except for one file--I have no idea how it got corrupted, but it did. Barb came in and answered my questions. 

Lemons turn to lemonade

But the magic began when I told her my phone tale of woe. She looked me in the eye and said, "I'm so sorry!" 

I felt tears welling and realized she was the first person I'd spoken to about the problem that expressed real understanding and sympathy. Oh, most people had been ok with it, but had also found it very strange and were full of unhelpful suggestions, like 'call the phone company.' Barbara really heard both what I was saying and how I was feeling.

Now the drill at the REP is we don't get paid parking, so we buy a cup of coffee at Starbucks and get our parking validated. I guess I still looked pressured because the clerk asked me how I was doing. I said 'it's been a hell of a morning!" He asked if that was good or bad, and when I responded with "I just want it to stop," he grimaced and gave me a discount on my coffee. Another person heard the whole truth of what I was saying. 

Truly hearing what someone has to say is an art and a discipline--I know how to do it; I've now been reminded just how important it is and am determined to do it more often.

The folks who fix the phones are on the docks right now, so late today or, worst case, tomorrow, my phone line will be working again. And to tell the truth, in some ways it's been delightful to not have to answer the phone or email for a few days.

Love, peace and abundance,

 

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