Surely, the thinking
goes, that Step must mean we are perpetually powerless and involved in
never-ending recovery.
My experience, however,
tells me this thinking is misguided and leads to what I've come to call
the Damaging Myths of Recovery:
-
The myth of perpetual powerlessness,
and,
-
The myth of never-ending recovery.
I call these myths
because they do not reflect the information and suggestions given to us in
Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book) and The 12 Steps and
12 Traditions, (12 and 12) the original source material for all
12 Step Recovery.
They are damaging because they prevent us from realizing
the full potential the 12 Steps offer. They have grown up in the
Fellowship over time, but are NOT part of the Program. By 'Program,' I
mean the 12 Steps, the Big Book and the 12 and 12;
'Fellowship' refers to everything else, from meetings to coffee klatches.
The Myth of Perpetual
Powerlessness
The root of the word power
comes from the French and means to act. Powerlessness is an
inability, or unwillingness to take action. We all recognize the sense of
powerlessness when it comes to our addiction. We were unable to stop
drinking (or using or practicing) on our own. As the First Step says: We
admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become
unmanageable.
Look closely! It's
alcohol (or addiction or practice) we were powerless over and our lives
became unmanageable because of our drinking (or addiction, etc.). Nowhere
does it say that we are or were powerless over everything – only our
addiction, in this case, drinking.
But admitting defeat,
coming to Program and working the Steps, is hardly a powerless action. We
are taking a positive action on our own behalf. In fact, we are taking
some of the most powerful action we ever could.
To claim we are powerless
over everything in our lives is to deny the massive change the Program
works in us for the good. When we continue to claim we are powerless, we
are perpetuating a victim role.
On the other hand, to
recognize that getting and staying sober, that letting go of our addiction
is a powerful act allows us to stop being victims. We can then truly begin
to live life 'on life's terms,' in all it's fullness. We can continue to
take powerful action on our own behalf and watch the Promises of the Big
Book (pp. 83-84) come true, day-by-day.
The Myth of Never-Ending
Recovery
There is a huge
reluctance among 12 Steppers to admit we are recovered alcoholics, even
though the Big Book uses recovered at least 11 times in the first
164 pages. The first two sentences of the Forward to the First Edition
use recovered twice! It seems safe to say that becoming recovered is the
goal.
Part of the reluctance
comes from an overemphasis on the disease theory of alcoholism. Although
accepting alcoholism as a disease makes it easier to accept the need for
help, dwelling on the concept leads to unnecessary fear of relapse.
It's certainly true the
only answer for the real alcoholic is total abstinence from alcohol. But,
as the Big Book promises, when we work the program: … sanity will have returned. We will
seldom be interested in liquor… We react sanely and normally…(pp.
84-85). Sounds like recovered to me!
I've come to believe
another reason for the reluctance to claim to be recovered is a mostly
unconscious fear that such a claim will tempt us to leave the Program and
to quit practicing the spiritual discipline that has worked so well for
us. Of course this need not be true at all. As a matter of fact, claiming
our power and recognizing that we are recovered makes it possible for us
to truly continue our growth by not getting stuck in myths that don't
serve us.
Love, peace and
abundance,
