What if?

Accepting God's Love and Care

What if what the Spiritual Masters tell us is true... what if everything is exactly as it should be? What if, as the Course in Miracles says, There is nothing to fear. (p. 99) What would our lives be like if we really trusted that which we call God?

I don't know, yet. Through an inventory process I recently discovered that I still don't totally believe that God loves me or will remove my defects. I believe God loves you and will remove your defects if you ask, but I'm not at all sure God will do that for me.

This doubt is insanity, particularly when I look at where I've come from and how much I've been given.

I'd actually discovered this in part years ago when I was first working the 6th and 7th Steps. Apparently I only let go, or became willing at something less than 100%. I didn't consciously do less than 100%, but some of the doubt, and the resulting fear has lasted undiscovered until now.

Insane or not... that doubt, that fear is there, deep within and it's colored everything I've done, every way I've been for years.

So once again, I'm in the process of praying for the willingness to be willing, the willingness to trust the God of my understanding (or misunderstanding).

At the suggestion of my sponsor, yes, I again have a sponsor, I've created some mini-posters:

One is on my computer monitor, another on the bathroom mirror, one over the kitchen sink and another on the radio next to my bed. Several more are ready to go elsewhere.

Now I have to tell you, that even the act of making the poster, and printing them and putting them up filled me with a combination of fear and hope - my doubt ran/runs deep. The next morning, while making coffee, I looked at the one over the sink and again was almost breathless with fear. It's getting easier. I can even write that I am willing to trust God with me... all of me. But I must admit, there's still some fear as I write, so I pray for more willingness.

I can feel things shifting inside me; it feels good and it feels strange. I have no idea what the result will be... that's not even my business. My job is to keep asking for the willingness to trust God and live as much in the present moment as I can.

If you'd like to copy my mini-poster and use it for yourself, feel free.

Love, peace and abundance,

Feel free to copy and use the banner any way you'd like...