Minds Are Meant To Think Thoughts – Learning Meditation

Our 11th Step suggests meditation.

In the beginning of my recovery and sporadically after that I tried over and over again to figure out how to meditate. I read lots of books, and listened to various people who tried, reading more than one book or listening to that teacher.

No matter what I tried, meditation seemed to be totally beyond me. I could rarely sit for five  minutes, let alone the longer periods I heard others were doing.

It turns out I was missing a vital piece of information: it’s totally normal for our minds to drift when we’re meditating.

I thought there was something wrong with me because when I tried to quiet my mind it was only moments before it drifted to the laundry or the shopping or my latest love.

Somehow I had thought I had to clear my mind in order to meditate properly. One person told me my mind should be as blank as a TV that’s turned off.  That may have worked for the person who told me about it, but I suspect I somehow misunderstood what he said.


Finally I was able to hear that it was expected my mind would drift; my job was to bring it back to what many Buddhists call the object of my meditation. Often that is just to be aware of my inhale and exhale, over and over again. 

I’ve been meditating now about seven years – almost daily and usually for about 20 minutes a session. I do this in the morning, shortly after I get up, and after I’ve spent maybe half an hour reading something spiritual.

And my mind still drifts! Which is one of the things our mind is supposed to do – think thoughts. All I have to do is notice when it happens and come back to my breath.


Not only that, when I ask other who have practiced longer than I have, they tell me their minds wander off too.

Whew! What a relief!

It’s okay that my mind drifts; it’s okay that I get bored sitting there; it’s okay that I want to scratch, and probably okay if I do, although it’s interesting to observe what happens when I don’t.

Although some of our literature describes meditation as listening to our Higher Power, I experience it differently. While I sometimes get insights into myself or my current issues, more often I’m just watching my breath, or perhaps counting my breath and nothing much seems to happen.

The reason I keep meditating is because I feel better as a result. Not every day, but more often than not, and better than I felt, or remember feeling before I started meditating. I’m somehow calmer, more grounded.

I notice that it’s easier for me to listen to friends and others. I also notice  more good things like small flowers flowers or a humming bird or, more specifically, the amazing variety of colors on my tabby cat’s coat.

Buddhists refer to this as mindfulness; others talk about being in the present moment or the holy instant.

Now if I could only learn not to be so fretful in traffic! And yes, I can bring mindful breathing even to that; it just takes practice.

Do you have a meditation practice? If not, what keeps you from one?

Love, blessings, and abundance,

 

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