The Holidays Are Almost Here! A 12 Step Survival Guide

The end of the year holidays are often a source of, if not fear, at least some angst for many in 12 Step programs. Those addicted to substances, like AA, NA, and OA  fear slips, those with problems like CoDA or Gambling  behaviors worry about triggers, those with money issues, like Underearners Anonymous and Debtors Anonymous are concerned about how much to spend, or not, on gifts.

Between families and the push of advertisements it’s not surprising many of us feel, well stressed. We don’t have to, however

No expectations. So many of our problems stem from having expectations about how we, or someone else or some event is supposed to be. For some reason we seem to bring an extra dollop or two of expectations to the end of the year holidays. And expectations are, of course, demands we make, even though we cloak them in rationalization and excuses. Reduce your expectations and you reduce your holiday stress.
Know that each holiday, including this one will be different from all others. One of the real dangers of the holidays is expecting (there’s that word again) to be like some other holiday – either a real one in our past or some notion we’ve dreamed up, probably with the help of media. Accept, and even rejoice that this holiday will be different from any other if for no reason other than you’re a year older.

You can do it your way, or mostly. No you don’t have to go home, or decorate with a Christmas tree or exchange Hanukkah gifts or whatever your family tradition is. You can do it exactly the way you want, or at least mostly. You do want to at least consider the wishes of those you live with and those you love, but if you want to eat sandwiches on the big day, that’s really okay.

You can do it their way, but differently. Or  you can do it the way your family and loved ones want to celebrate, but do it without resentment. Perhaps this could be the finest expression of love you could show this holiday season.

How you feel is really your choice. We really do have control over our feelings. We can choose to feel good, or at least not bad. It takes some practice, but it’s worth it often. There really is no percentage in staying stuck in bad feelings, no matter what the reason.
10th Steps as needed. Our 10th Step taken on the fly or more formally or both can go a long way toward helping us keep grounded and sane during the holidays.

Help is a phone call away. Remember you can pick up the phone and call a sponsor, a 12 Step friend, or if all else fails the local AA number even if that isn’t your program. Someone will talk with you, I promise.

What are your tricks for staying sane during the holidays?

Love, blessings and abundance,